Oh yeah, Walsh. Onwards!
Tonight's theme is ... X Factor. Riiight. The show is 10 years old, you see. And in that time they've unfortunately run out of good themes.
Nicholas McDonald. The Climb.
This week Nicholas has been home to Scotland and he's also sung
Miley Cyrus' Joe McElderry's song to Joe McElderry.
For the first time in the competition, I think little Nicholas is a little flat at times. The staging is pretty boring, the song is pretty boring, the key change is a little boring. You get the picture.
Sharon wishes Nicholas a happy birthday - so she can no longer remind him he's "only suxteeen"? She thinks he sung it beautifully. Gary wants Nicholas to work on his identity. Nicole thinks she saw his identity on the stage. If she did, it's a boring identity. Louis thinks Nicholas is one of the best vocalists the show's ever had. Dermot then strolls on stage with an awesome birthday cake of the studio and the judges and I am rather jealous.
Hannah Barrett. Hallelujah.
Nicole tells Hannah that she stole the show last week. I think I'd agree actually. This week Hannah got to meet Alexandra Burke. There are tears from both.
It's nice. I think we're all waiting for her to belt out the big notes, aren't we? They don't come until about three quarters of the way through the song, so it drags a little until then.
Louis thinks it was an emotional interpretation of the song and that it was her best performance. Sharon says Hannah seems to be more comfortable with herself each week. Gary likes that Hannah doesn't choose songs in order to chase votes. (Hannah's in tears again by this point.) Nicole: "You know it's good and it touches you when there's snot, you know?" Enough said really.
There's now a montage of X Factor's most memorable moments. Have I missed a memo about this show ending? Because it's quite the nostalgia-fest tonight.
Luke Friend. What Makes You Beautiful.
Luke was "like, really down" after being in the sing-off last week so Louis arranges for him to meet Shane Ward. I'm sure that really cheered him up.
He's certainly put his own spin on this. I can't decide whether or not this was a good with such a famous song, but I admire him for having a go.
Sharon says Luke is the dark horse in the competition. Gary thinks that Luke being in the bottom two last week has been positive for him. Nicole loves that he changed the song. Louis hopes the Wand Erection fans liked it.
Rough Copy. What's It Gonna Be?
Gary took RC to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park because they don't have enough fun. Oh I'm sorry, I seem to have mistakenly got the idea that they're in a singing competition, when apparently they're in a competition for who can have the most fun.
Another interesting style choice for these guys. (Is that a ski mask on one of their heads?) I find myself in the confusing state of really liking this. Sorry folks.
Nicole talks a lot. There are ice cream similies and 'schsprinkles'. Louis thinks there's a gap in the market for them. Sharon finds the song whiney. Gary says they did a brilliant job.
Tamera Foster. Impossible.
Tamera had a bit of a shocker last time, forgetting the lyrics and all. Nicole gives her permission to "have her moment" with this song.
She starts off alright but she forgets the lyrics again(!) and then I think she gets ahead of herself and it's just horribly painful to watch. She manages to get a grip, though, and belts out the rest of the song. If she hadn't messed up, this would have been a great performance.
Louis thinks she's a potential superstar but is annoyed she keeps forgetting the lyrics. Sharon says she did good (you mean 'well', Mrs O) despite forgetting the lyrics. Gary found it difficult to watch and thought the song was in the wrong key. Nicole is full of positive words.
Sam Bailey. Bleeding Love.
Sam is not going to let being the oldest in the competition get in her way. Good, I'm glad.
Despite saying in her intro video that she wants to put her own spin on the song, Sam sounds exactly the same as Leona. Until there's a key change. Then it's a little different, but it's basically a copy of Leona's version. Don't get me wrong, she sounds ace as usual but let's not kid ourselves that she really made it her own.
Gary thinks it was amazing. Nicole says it was a perfect perfomance. Louis says that Tamera should watch back Sam's performance to see how it's done (meow). Sharon is thankful that she has Sam to represent "the girls" and "the overs".
Blimey, that's everyone! I think Tamera might be leaving this week. What do you reckon?